Army Mom’s Safe Haven

Christina

BREAKDOWN

When it occurred,
I didn’t realize
that it was me
making sounds like cries

I could not smile
I could not eat
or concentrate
or move my feet –

Frozen, I sat in bed
and thought
I’ll just relax
in this warm spot

I’ll just stay here
a little while ~
I could not talk,
I could not smile………

I went to work
and then came home
I went nowhere,
I stayed alone.

Lost my mom
then lost my dad
lost myself
and hurt so bad

that pain-lashed
from my head to toes,
I sat and watched
a blooming rose

turn into dust
and fall away –
I could not ask
for help, or pray

I needed God
but He was hidden,
and had not done as
He was “bidden”

Give me back
my mom and dad,
My job, my life,
the love I had ~

But He did not.

One day,
I wandered from the bed;
I went outside
and walked, instead,

and in the rain
I felt Him near
My tears pooled into
one large tear

and I asked,
Please, please help me now
I’ll ask You just
to show me how…

I have a son
I need to raise
If You want Faith
and You need Praise,

You’ll have it.

Help me walk
Help me move
Help me talk
Help me love –

And so, He did.
I awoke one day
to sun,
and made my bed,
and kissed my son,
and forgave my God
for the time I had

when I broke down,
and was so sad.