Army Mom’s Safe Haven

TAKING STOCK

I have heard it said
That the eyes are the mirrors of the soul.

I think that's true.
You can tell if a person is wounded or whole.

Christina: Taking Stock
When I was 6 weeks old,
My smile was crooked,
And I looked soft, and new.....

Christina: Taking Stock
When I was six
All things were possible –
And heartache was not
Something that I knew.

Christina: Taking Stock
At 18, I was not yet aware
That I would not become a nurse.
My smile is wide
My face is open, And unafraid.
My mistakes were, as yet, unmade.

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Christina: Taking Stock
At 21, my photograph
Filled me with pride.
I was about to become his bride.

Christina: Taking Stock
By 26, I had waited for my husband to come home
From war;
Only to be divorced before our son was four.
I raised my son alone.
I notice that the light in my eyes is dim
Whereas before, they shone.

Someone said:
I have never seen eyes so sad.
He didn't mean to make me feel so bad.

Christina: Taking Stock
By 30, I was way past the divorce,
Happy again,
Dancing my way from New Jersey to New York,
Disco-dancing thru milling crowds of men.

Christina: Taking Stock
At 33, I think I look my best.
I laugh and work, dance, raise my son,
And wonder where his babyhood went.
I am content.

Christina: Taking Stock
By 39, my son has made me "The ArmyMom"
The eyes seem accepting
And oddly calm.

Christina: Taking Stock
At 53, all is well with my world.
I've been remarried for 13 years.
I'm a happy girl.

Christina: Taking Stock
When I was 56,
he said he wanted out.
We'd been married 16 years.

It squeezed my heart
and nearly crushed me;
I cried a million tears.

And as late as just last year
I think I still felt grief........

I look so sad, and tired.
It's hard work trying to look happy
when you are mired
in disbelief.

Christina: Taking Stock
At 57, having been dealt the second blow
my face is smiling
but my eyes say "no"

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Christina: Taking Stock
At 58, I smile at Christmas.
My face is fuller
And I'm getting wrinkly.......
But my eyes say I'm healing
And the smile is crinkly.

I have spent some time today
Looking into my eyes.

And the Reflections there
Give me no great surprise.

I have been happy and I have been sad.
I have been content and filled with deep despair.

I have loved my life
And the people in it.

As for peace,
I'm getting there.

©Copyright October 18, 2005 by Christina

Christina: Taking Stock (IWVPA Double Tap Award for War Poetry - Awarded October 19, 2005)
Awarded October 19, 2005

Christina: Taking Stock (IWVPA Club Recognition of Outstanding Writing - Awarded October 19, 2005)
Awarded October 19, 2005